Life of a Southern Socialite

The irony in this specific day.. is today is the day I would have walked down the aisle to someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with…. It’s funny how we have this picture perfect moment of what happily ever after will look like even if it didn’t start out being the thing that sets your heart on fire. You look past the flaws, the red flags, and the fights. I wanted so bad to be someone’s wife…. And I’m that process I lost being someone I knew.

Y’all…. Grief is a powerful season. It is crying yourself to sleep multiple nights, it’s heart wrenching, it’s not eating, it’s realizing you not only lost a life but you lost the person you once were, it’s not knowing where to go, and it’s a whole lot of wine. What I will say is grief and heartbreaking hand in hand. There is nothing like it, the pain and agony you experience is like getting on a bucking horse and getting thrown against every single fence post and wall that is available! However you ain’t got no other option but to hold on and ride.

Society tells us that if we aren’t married with babies in the front yard by the time we are 25 we are doing it all wrong. It took me a long time to realize that some of us just ain’t the marrying kind…. And y’all know something that’s okay! It’s okay to be almost 30 single and to live alone with your dog. It’s okay to NOT have it all figured out. It’s okay to DATE yourself. It’s okay to cry…..a lot. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to be LONELY. It’s okay to go through your process no matter how sad, angry, hopeless, and crazy you feel.

I am in no way going to say the past few months I have been okay… I have put my head down, mask on, and done what I’ve had to do to build a life back piece by piece and DAMNIT I DID IT! I have made a home, I have worked my tail off, I have screamed, I have fallen flat on my face, I’ve made mistakes, and STILL I RISE. I have dreaded this day… a day that I once had butterflies thinking about. What I had to realize what it was not WHO I was marrying I wanted so bad, It was finally fitting into the stereotype. The house, the husband, the land, the kid, the career, and even though inside I was screaming to get out. We all want someone to come home too. That just isn’t my story anymore…. I forgive myself, I forgive you, & today I say I DO.

Today I say I do… to myself. I say I do to ONE WHOLE year of being ALONE without being LONELY! I say I do to diving into my career and allowing myself to become the BEST I can be each day. I say I do to dating myself….new experience and new expectations. I say I do to investing into my friendships wholeheartedly. I say I do to being the best dog mom I can. I say I do to learning each and every lesson this season has to teach me. I say I do to being an active participant in my family. I say I do to loving myself…. Every flaw, every pound, every mistake, every meal, every little thing that makes me me! I say I do to my health, WHO IS READY FOR A GLOWUP?! Time to stop pussyfooting’ around and put in WORK!! (And boy oh boy I’m gonna BE HOT!!!) I say I do to prayer and faith in ALL THINGS! I say I do taking control of my finances…. Saving is sexy 😉! Abundant wealth here I come! I say I do to knowing MY WORTH…..expecting AND accepting NOTHING LESS! I say I do to laughter. I say I do to peace. I say I do to FINALLY closing this chapter of my story. I have weathered a storm for 5 months…. TODAY THAT STORM IS OVER and I am turning my face to the sunshine!

As I embark on this new chapter… I am overwhelmed with the support and love I have been shown the past few months. The friends who have stepped up, the family who wiped. MY tears, & the love I have had pour over me is incredible. I will never be able to repay or say thank you enough. I hope one day everyone can experience this in abundance Of support at some point when you need it the most as for me? I’m going to soak it all in. I am not going to lie…. I have missed every little thing of my past life the past few weeks! However, I’m celebrating and LIVING for this NEW chapter and story I am writing!

Y’all butter my butt and call me a biscuit because I tell you what…. You never realize just how special, worthy, and beautiful you really are until people walk out on you! The biggest lesson I have learned through this season is that I AM no WORTHY of so much more than is behind me! I AM WORTHY of loving myself! I AM WORTHY of self respect and EXPECTING that from that from those around me! My worth is not defined by the things that happened to me, what people hear OR SAY about me, & the mistakes I have made! Do you know it’s okay to be HUMAN?!? Heavens to Betsy boys and girls I JUST FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF!!

The life I live today is far better than anything I could have left behind. I have hurt, screamed, cried far long enough! Look out world here I come! -Linds

Life is a funny journey. You have a picture painted in your head of what it will be like right? The man of your dreams you come home to every night, this picture perfect marriage, a few babies on a tire swing in the front yard, a good ole’ dog, a career that let’s you live comfortably, rose petals and a white picket fence. My friends THIS is NOT the truth… granted it happens for some and that is a beautiful thing! However butter my butt and call me a biscuit this surely to God AIN’T my story!

Seasons. Life is full of em’. Seasons of romance and butterflies. Seasons of heartache and tears. Seasons of loneliness. Seasons of growth and uncertainty. Tis’ the season… celebrate each and every one! When you’re in the season of great romance LOVE WITH ALL YA’ got! Love fearlessly… give your person the best of yourself, laugh, flirt, feel every butterfly, mean every word you say to one another, and then when the season is over….transition into the next! Buckle up buttercup because the next season is coming! And THAT season is going to fulfill so much more than you could ever fathom!

With everything season comes a lesson. Learn each and every lesson you are supposed to! Stand alone. Sweet friends sometimes the best growth comes from the loneliness, sit, be still and stand alone! Hold your friendships close, hold yourself to a high standard, stop settling, understand that you are divinely placed in this season to bring you into something so spectacular!

Remember this season…. Remember the pain, remember the pride, remember your moments of uncertainty, remember the moments of celebration! What lesson are you learning?

To be continued…..

It’s funny how life works y’all… one moment you think you have it all. Next you realize you’d rather drink a hot beer than live that life you once thought you knew or “needed”…. A few lessons I’ve learned lately, have redirected my mindset….. buckle up boys because it sure is about to get deep!

1. You think your so “broken”…. Suck it up sister! Everyone gets broken at some point, you don’t get to allow that to DEFINE who you are or become! You get to let that stay keep you up at night! You do NOT allow that brokenness become a crutch. Y’all know what happens when you get thrown from a horse?? You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and you get back on! You dig your heels in. You take the reigns! You hang on and you GET BACK UP! Life is gonna throw your ass off more often than not….YOU CONTROL THE HORSE YOU DON’T let it control you (Thanks Uncle Barry) !!! DUST OFF!!! & GET BACK IN THE DAMN SADDLE!! Just KEEP SWIMMING!

2. You made a mistake… holy moly you’re not perfect?!?! Exactly!!! Nobody is perfect so give yourself a break and stop trying to go through life “having it all together” every SINGLE DAY your going to mess up! Your going to be snappy to people you care about… apologize. Your going to feel overwhelmed at times… take a breath. You are going to hurt people unintentionally… make it right. You are not going to get frustrated with the clerk at the grocery store….put yourself in there shoes. Look at your glass half full NOT half empty! You may not be everyone’s someone and that’s okay…. CELEBRATE when you are. Do your best! & that is ENOUGH. JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

3. Laugh. I’ll say that again. LAUGH! Start to see the joy in the most simplistic things. You have good friends around you… enjoy them! You have a job you enjoy… be grateful for that! Your family is cheering you on… realize that! Laugh when you can. Love when you need to. & show up for those who NEED YOU! Life is way too short to be dull! Laugh, be silly, seek joy, & be kind! Everything else will fall into place! JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

4. This…. Y’all THIS may be the MOST IMPORTANT lesson of them all! Know YOUR WORTH!! You deserve everything life has laid before you! Every heartache, every single year, every low point, every sting of loneliness, YOU DESERVE IT! Now your probably thinking… what?!? How does pain equal knowing MY worth? Let me explain…. Each and every painful season in your life has a lesson to bring you to a position where you sit back and say… “Darlin’ your better than that” and guess what you grow. You learn. You discover. You realize YOUR WORTH SO MUCH MORE! Never settle! Never settle for that relationship that keeps you up at night, never settle for the marriage that makes you feel less than, never settle for a job that doesn’t challenge you or allow you to thrive, never settle for friendships that are full of judgement, never settle for being comfortable because that becomes complacent, never settle for chaos instead of peace & and never settle for SACRIFICING yourself so someone else can be happy! Never settle for negative self talk! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Your size and shape does not define you! Never settle for talking down to yourself and walk into ANY ROOM with your head held high! Girl you ARE WORTHY! Don’t go with the current JUST KEEP SWIMMING

Let me introduce you to the most special man who has been in my life thus far (sorry y’all) … and really the one who has solidified all of these lessons and more for me over the past few months. This is Nemo.. (yes like the fish) Some would say Nemo has had a sad horrible story… like many of us! Life sucks and then one day you get rescued. The funniest thing in all of this is Nemo thinks I rescued him…. NO NO NO! He rescues me each and every time I walk through the door and see his wiggle butt 😍. Ya see his story is no more sad than most of ours he was hurt by someone he loved, caged in a place that was to small, he was scared, and didn’t know which way was up! Have you been there?! Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit because as I read that I feel like that has been my whole life story a few times!!! Nemo is blind…. Some may call it a disadvantage! However is see it as an advantage…. He can remember the EXPERIENCES that hurt him, he can remember the FEELING, but he can’t REMEMBER the faces of the person he loved that hurt him. His love is pure because he can’t SEE your exterior. The pretty face, the curled hair, the makeup you put on, the Botox, the tiny waist, etc. He can feel your presence. Your warmth. Your love. Your sadness. Your excitement. JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

My dear readers (Like I have 1000s of readers right? I think I have maybe one subscriber however I like to think I’m channeling my inner Gossip Girl here… go with it) I say all of this to say let yourself be blind in this next chapter… yeah you’ve been hurt and FULL DISCLAIMER none of this is specific to one experience or person…. Life just HURTS SOMETIMES. Growth sucks. Re-creating yourself is hard. & Deeply seeking who you really need/want to be is SO UNCOMFORTABLE…. Just keep swimming! Let yourself look past the exterior of things and people “be blind” open your heart up to healing… open yourself up to happiness, open yourself to the realization that you really can have it all. You CAN BE ALONE! You don’t have to look at that tiny one bedroom as a fail see YOUR HOME! That you work so hard for. Don’t look at loneliness as a bad thing…. YOU NEED TO BE BY YOURSELF in order to fall in love with yourself! Don’t feel sorry for yourself (forever) feel your feelings because they are valid but at some point you have to let that stuff go put your big girl panties on and own your life IT’s YOURS. FREE YOURSELF! Walk in THAT! Keep it moving… JUST KEEP SWIMMING!

Close that chapter friend…. But begin to write the best one yet! Stop selling yourself short! FREE YOURSELF! Go out with your friends, come home to your pup and order take out, go to bed at 7pm if you want, he’ll stay up til 3am if you want (on the weekends because let’s face it adulting— so get your sh*t together), walk up to a hot guy who you think is WAY out of your league (which he’s not STOP THAT because I guarantee he’s just as crazy you… that makes it fun right?! ) at a dang kiddie pool if you want and FLIRT, respect YOURSELF, enjoy being lonely, work hard, celebrate having the kind of adult friendships everyone needs, grow in your career every day, thrive, date yourself…. Make a fancy meal for one drink a good ole glass of wine (no this is not a new eat pray love kinda story) love hard, be the best version of yourself and ENJOY EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YOUR NEW CHAPTER YOUR WRITING! Celebrate the big and little things. I am cheering for you just like I can feel you and the whole universe cheering for me!

JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!

When I say life gets hard…. Y’all it REALLY gets HARD! HOWEVER… I will tell you there is ALWAYS a rainbow after each and every storm! Hearts get broken and you grieve a life you thought you needed! You grieve relationships you believed you wouldn’t be able to live without! & then one day you wake up, you pick up the pieces, you dust yourself off, you start to believe in your potential, you look at yourself in the mirror and see the girl you always wanted to be…. You start to see who YOU ONCE WERE… be her. Believe in HER. BECOME HER.

That girl is going to be proud one day. The new you will love herself, that girl will celebrate the small victories, that girl will love her friends, THAT GIRL will be an important role in her family, pursue THAT GIRL! Love, hope, dream BIG DREAMS…. Really big dreams, thrive, ask YOURSELF what is really important and then have the wisdom and courage to build YOUR LIFE around THAT answer!!!!

Strength is a funny word…. What does it mean to be strong or DISCOVER your strength?? I used to think strength or “being strong” was stone faced, cold hearted, not letting people in, and just doing YOU. However strength…. Is genuinely knowing you are hurting and feeling every single piece of that feeling! Strength is discovering that YOU ARE NOT PERFECT! Being strong sometimes means depending on your people to hold you up when your heart is broken. Strength is digging yourself out of a hole. YOUR STRENGTH comes from asking for help. Sometimes being strong is learning to love yourself more than you ever have before! Strong…. Is paying your bills, sleeping alone, coming home to an empty apartment, crying when you need too, and sitting in YOUR OWN SH**

Slowly but surely…. One day y’all, I WILL FIND MY STRENGTH MORE THAN EVER BEFORE! One day (even if that means a little than usual) One day my smile will become MY SMILE will glow a little differently, one day the joy I am anticipating will be my reality, one day I’ll look back on this brief moment in time and see the bigger picture that is in store. One day (soon) all the tears, heartbreak, & hard work will bring me to the place I have always dreamed of! Beautiful BEAUTIFUL girl you can do hard things!!

Just remember those who believe in you, cry with you, tell you the truth, love you through it all, and hold you up when life gets hard….. those who weather the storms beside you…. Hold them close! There is ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER THE STORM!